The Beginning

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Think about that... a single, simple step. One foot in front of another is all it takes. My life has been a series of "one steps" and this journey is no different.

Almost my whole life I have been a bigger girl. No, not bigger, fat. There, I've said it. I've always avoided using the word fat. I was in denial. I would use words like fluffy, bigger, or plump. I would blame others...I'm built just like my grandmother. Mostly I made excuses...I'm not motivated... It's hard to do it alone... I'm to tired...I'm just big boned... BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. It's all the same thing. EXCUSES!!! Well, I'm done. No more excuses!!!

I'm done making excuses about the way that I am. And so I begin this new journey. A journey that will teach me, mold me, shape me, and define me.

My first step in this journey began on March 20 when I went to tryouts for the tv show The Biggest Loser. My friend Amanda and I went to Salt Lake at six in the morning and waited until it started at ten. We met some amazing women who were in line with us. At about 7:30 a very nice man started bringing gloves to those of us waiting in line. When it was finally time for us to go in they took us in in groups of ten. We sat with a casting director who really only wanted to see what our personalities were like and how we interacted with others. They also told us that we would know befire the day was over if we made call backs. I waited and waited, hoping that I would be one of the lucky few who made callbacks, but by the end of the night I realized that I wasn't. Amanda and I still have a chance by making a video, but I am starting this so that even if we don't make it I will still have something motivating and driving me to do this on my own.

It is difficult for me to share my weight with people. I am embarrassed by it. Because you select few mean the world to me I am letting you in on this very private battle. So tonight I start my journey of self discovery. My plan is that I will be able to share my inspirations and thoughts as I fight this silent killer called obesity. I plan to blog every week all of my successes and failures. Knowing, that this will be mostly for my benefit, but hoping it might affect others as well.

Starting weight: 302 lbs.